Sunday, January 3, 2010

The 3 States

The 3 States

Story Title : The 3 States
Cast : Prof. Hira Kumar Raj
Mr. Abhi Dekh Doshi
Mr. Chetana Bhagat Singh

Once there was a Prof. called Hira Kumar Raj. He was very proclaimed in his field of teaching. He taught students at the Imperial Primary School. One day he thought, 'It's been a while I have written a research paper since my last paper on 'Carry on Munni Bhen'. He called his research paper writer (I mean his student), Mr. Abhi Dhek Doshi , and asked him to write a research paper on something which would involve the complete matter. But later on he forgot about the paper.

Mr. Abhi Dhek Doshi was an good student. He thought as to what topic should he write the research paper on. It then striked him that he must write on the topic 'The 3 States' namely solid, liquid and gas and give more stress on the topic of gases (he was listening to the song 'behti hawa sa tha woh' then...). He immediately opened sciencedirect.com and went through the abstract of few of the research topics. Since he had no access to research papers at his high school he asked his friends from Indiana School of Engineering to send him the shortlisted papers. He then saved the papers in a folder and then just forgot about it all (phufff...).

3 Years Later :
Prof. Hira Kumar Raj was reminded of his talk of with his student about the research paper, post the success of his last paper, 'Carry on Munni Bhen'. He called Mr. Abhi Dhek Doshi and asked him about the status of the research paper. Abhi replied that the paper was almost done and would be ready with the final draft as per IEEE standards (typical student dialogue). In evening, Abhi opened the downloaded papers folder. Read abstracts and conclusion of all papers and then jolted all the points. He then copy-pasted the text. By then the paper was of 10 pages. He then had a shot of 'g' for creating some space for new ideas. He had a night out replacing parts of the text in his research paper and finally making a draft of 5 pages. Now as we all know that at the end of the paper comes a section called references. In this part one has to mention the names of authors and publication from which the research paper was tapofied or copied (for the heck of it say partly copied). Abhi had tapofied a major part from research paper of Mr. Chetana Bhagat Singh published in the 'fps' journal. Since he did not want to mention or indicate explicitly that he had tapofied majorly from a particular person he put his name at the end of references. The research paper thus published was a huge path breaking success. Both Prof. Hira Kumar Raj and Mr. Abhi Dekh Doshi were very happy and satisfied.

1 Week Later:
Mr. Chetana Bhagat Singh gets up one fine morning and feels hurt to see that his reference is given at the very last of the hit research paper published by Prof. Hira Kumar Raj and Mr. Abhi Dekh Doshi, even though major plot of the research paper is tapofied from his paper. So do many of the followers of Mr. Chetana. Mr. Chetana being a research paper writer updates everyone about his hurt feelings on a blog published in the online journal.

1 day Later :
The attention hungry media takes this issue and shows the responses of both the persons. On one side Mr. Chetana wants an uplift in the order in which the names of the reference Authors has come and on another side Prof. Hira and Mr. Abhi say that they have already given the credit to the author by mentioning his name in the paper and that there is no need for him to protest openly since the complete research paper is different than of Mr. Chetana. This issue is unnecessarily hyped and grabs lot of public attention.

1 Week Later
:
Both Mr. Chetana and (Mr. Hira and Mr. Abhi) are happy. Mr. Chetana is happy since he got to say what he wanted to, in front of public. The credit he could get from mentioning his name in the top order of paper published by Mr. Hira was much less than than that he got by making a remark in public. Since the sales of the journal 'fps' in which the paper was published went up. Mr. Hira is also happy since people in curiosity of comparing the 2 papers purchased more journals of the two.

1 Week Later
:
The media forgets about the topic. People are listening to other stories of other people. Mr. Hira and Mr. Chetana are back to their own business of printing research papers. Mr. Abhi is again high on 'g' in search of new ideas for next research paper.

Recommended Solution to the Chaos :
When you mention the names of Authors at end of publication of a research paper do it in the Alphabetical order.

Conclusion
:
Jindagi hai Chalta hia !!!

References :
A
B
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Z

Saturday, July 25, 2009

true IITKgpian

What makes a true IITKgpian :

1. To begin with ... apart for the normal language used for communication they have a set of special words which belong to 'IIT Lingo' category .. (from here on these words would be marked italic..)
2. he can live without water or food for a day but if the lan goes off for a sec he is damn frrrrust.
3. for him peace is everything.
4. apart from the usual nic names the dc nic name is "adorable" to him.
5. the staple food for u is maggi.
6. ur hall of residence has a special place in ur heart
7. u hate the word pt shit.
8. the first thing u do when u open a gtalk account is see others status messages.
9. girls are nothing more than extint endangered species for u
10. mkv print is just "OK" for u
11. ur dictionary does not have a word piracy or copyright in it.
12. along with constants like pie , phi etc. the no. 2.2 has a special place in ur life.
13. the first thing u do when the dc hub goes out is check other ppl gtalk messages
14. the first thing u ask before taking a breadth is what is ur friend taking.
15. no matter how many times u hear the grand viva u always end u saying huha at the end.
16. there are two types of dresses : "formal" and "non-formal"
17. going to techmarket on a fine evening and finding it all closed due to a "bandh" is normal for u.